When Csaba was asking me about my opinion regarding to the dynamics between male and female, I was very honored and more than willing to share my point of view with you. This subject was an extremely important topic during my dance career and played a major role in my four World Champion Latin American Showdance titles.
During my professional dance career it was always about energy. About the difference in energy and strength between two human beings. The difference, but also the similarities between two people. How the two of them can be brought together in one story and one movement. Between me and my former professional partner there was a huge difference. He was very direct and strong, not only as a dancer but as a person as well. I was the opposite of him. Very soft, round and sensitive in my energy. We brought these two dynamics together through lots of training, talking with each other and really trying to understand each other’s point of view.
We really wanted to express two equal energies on the dance floor instead of pretending to be a traditional male-female couple regarding to energy. I feel there is a huge difference between men and women in daily life. In general, men are more direct and are really focused on the results. They are prepared for the unexpected and willing to deal with that, while most women will analyze every possible scenario and their decision is more based on feelings: their most important tool. If something doesn’t feel good, doubts will come up. Of course this is a general point of view and doesn’t apply to everyone. With that being said, we wanted to create a combination of two male energies that were very dynamic, powerful and direct while still being able to be soft and tender and really connecting to the audience.
Regarding to the typical man / woman dynamics in the Netherlands: In the mid-eighties lots of women entered the labor market and these numbers keep increasing year after year. More and more women keep working even after they became a mom. The labor participation in the Netherlands is pretty high regarding to other countries. Next to that we also live in a changing society where more and more women as well as men are working part-time. Despite of all these changes, there are big differences in this market as well. Even though we are all told about the emancipation of women, I feel there is still a big difference for women. They get paid less on an hourly base, work less and it are still the men who rules the higher positions in the high end (leadership) functions. Next to that there is also a huge difference between working in the city or in a village. Most women are pretty much set by the age of 23 and have a steady job and a relationship. Men on the other hand are a bit later in regarding to settling down.
Successful women in leadership functions or our role models in society has to work twice as hard to be seen and heard by society. The emancipation I mentioned earlier was about twenty years ago, but I feel we are again in the same situation. Maybe better said: we are still in that process of emancipation. Everything a women does will be looked at and criticized ten times more than in case a man did. Work done by a man seems to be accepted easier than vice versa.
The expectations in Holland are pretty high. You are expected to be a great student and a role model. To be hired in a high end job. Next to that it is expected to also create a family and be a role model family as well. Around age 65 you can enjoy your pension and start enjoying all other stuff life has to offer. In my point of view there is only one third of the time left to enjoy your pension. The way society, and so we, are treating health and our outlook on life is a recipe for physical and mental illnesses and everything but happiness. Though all the pressure we put on ourselves we really misinterpreted ‘life’ and instead we are surviving. We are working very, very hard to be able to take care of all our liabilities. But do you really live life to the fullest? That is the question. Most people had a great dream, but somewhere along the way they - or society - talked themselves out of that dream and they got stuck in the system of society. I definitely don’t want to say study and education isn’t good, it is. But don’t get stuck in societies opinions and choose your own happiness! Do self-study, explore the world and create the best version of you! Only take the information from people you look up to, people who actually got the results you desire.
Choose your own path and choose your own inner circle. People who lift each other up, not the ones who like to push people down. You are the average of the five people closest to you. If you want to succeed, you have to change the dynamics and energies around you. Sometimes it isn’t that easy and it can hurts, but I can tell you: it will be the best choice you have ever made.
So getting back to my background as a professional dancer: during all our practices, shows and competitions we were the ones who were in charge of our energies and we decided how we felt on the floor, and in today’s society whether you live in Hungary or the Netherlands or somewhere else in the world: YOU are in charge of your energy and your wellbeing. Whether you are a man or a women, a leadership position or a stay at home mom: please take charge of every situation and become the best version of you.